


[Andi Mack]: To All The Boys I've Loved Before

by Mushyyroom



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - To All the Boys I've Loved Before, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Multi, Slow Build, based more on the book, wow thats already a tag?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-02 07:57:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15792324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mushyyroom/pseuds/Mushyyroom
Summary: Cyrus writes love letters. Letters that he writes when he feels emotions so strong that he doesn’t know what to do with himself. There are 5 letters in total- one for each boy that he has ever loved before.There was TJ, the popular basketball captain, Gus from homeroom, Marty from the party, Walker from the art gallery, and Jonah, the boy with the cutest dimples, but he was Andi’s boyfriend.These letters were never meant to be seen by anyone else but Cyrus himself. Until one day they are.





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story based off of the book To all the boys I’ve ever Loved before by Jen Han. It doesn’t follow it exactly but the concept is there AND if you haven’t read the book i suggest doing so! The movie is great but the book is even better (in my opinion since you get more adorable content).
> 
> This is dedicated to @persongoingslow on tumbr! Check them out!

Jonah is Andi’s boyfriend, but everyone in their group was a little in love with him. Before he was Andi’s boyfriend he was just Jonah Beck. Older, Amazing, ultimate frisbee playing, something to look at from afar, Jonah Beck. And by some miracle, he started hanging out with their ragtag group of friends.

 

Buffy liked Jonah because he could stand his ground. She didn’t mind having him invade their little group as much as she did with other people. He was someone she could arm wrestle with and not give in right away. Cyrus assumed that Buffy always wished that he and Andi were more athletic. She loved them for who they were, but he knew that she wished that she could fully share that part of her life with them.

 

If Cyrus had to take a guess as to why Andi was enamored by Jonah, he would have to guess that it was because Jonah was damn near perfect. He was always polite around her parents and grandparents, they adored him, and he was always friendly to everyone. There was absolutely nothing that he couldn’t do. Okay there probably were some things he couldn’t do, but he seemed almost invincible most of the time. His smile could end wars. Wars!

 

He used to have a crush on Jonah. But that was long gone now. He had made peace with the fact that Jonah and Andi were just going to be a thing and not just a phase a long time ago. It was the right thing to do, to let go of it.

 

He had even wrote a letter. The kind of letters he’s written only four other times in his life. A letter he writes when he has a crush so intense that he can’t function until he does something about it. And they were for his eyes only. They were stored away in a T-Rex shaped container he had gotten as a child and they were only taken out when Cyrus felt like taking a self pity trip down memory lane. Jonah’s goodbye letter was in there along side the one for TJ Kippen from seventh grade, Gus from homeroom freshman year, Marty from the sophomore party, and Walker from that art gallery (who was now one of his close friends). Those were his most secret possessions. Not even Buffy or Andi knew about them, and he intended to keep it that way until they were older and could just laugh about it.

 

“Cyrus? Are you okay?” Buffy nudges him out of his thoughts. The Spoon was half full with people they didn’t know and the sun was just beginning to go down.

 

Cyrus shook his head and popped a tater tot into his mouth, “Yeah. Just lamenting over the fact that we have to start school tomorrow.”

 

Jonah slightly jumped when Andi put her fingers in her ears, making noises, “La la la la! Shh! Cyrus we’re not supposed to be talking about it. We have to just have a nice last day of summer before the worst year of highschool ever!”

 

Cyrus forgot that they agreed not to talk about the impending junior year of doom. But it’s not like that was what he was actually thinking of. He blamed himself for not being able to come up with a better lie. Buffy laughed beside him at her friends antics, “Although Andi is right, while were still on the topic,” she turned to face Cyrus, “You’re driving me tomorrow right?”

 

Shit. He forgot about that too. Although he got his license a while ago, Cyrus still paled at the thought of having to drive. Buffy still had to go through the whole process and since Andi only had her motorbike, a motorbike for one person that is, it was Cyrus’ duty to take himself and Buffy to and from school. Why did he agree to that again?

 

“I can always give you guys a ride if you need,” Jonah smiled, his eyes filled with light and all things heavenly. Jonah really was his savior.

 

Buffy shook her head, “No need Jonah. Cyrus needs to defeat this fear of driving that he has. But just in case I got this,” She ducked under the table for a second before smugly presenting a bike helmet.

 

“You got a new bicycle?” Cyrus raised a skeptical eyebrow. Last time he checked Buffy said she’d rather run all the way to school then get a new bike. She wasn’t too fond of them after their seventh grade fiasco. But if she was planning on riding to school instead he was more than happy to celebrate.

 

Buffy fit it snuggly on her head and clicked the strap on under her chin. She grinned, “Nope. I brought it for the car ride.”

 

“Well that does wonders for my self confidence,” Cyrus said sarcastically.

 

“Can’t be too prepared!” Buffy replied in a chipper manner.

 

“Well I guess Jonah can drive you home tonight!” Cyrus swings his legs out from under the booth, promptly standing, “I should get going.”

 

Andi groaned, pouting a little as she watched him tug on his coat, “Aw! Okay fine! See you tomorrow?”

 

“Of course!”

 

Buffy called after him as he left, “This is the year Cyrus!”

 

She was right. They’ve already decided on this a while ago. This was the year that everything was going to change. This was the year that they would check a bunch of stuff off of their old bucket lists before creating a whole new one just for senior year. They were going to make the best of a supposedly crappy year. That was the plan, and if Cyrus loved one thing, it was a good plan.

 

The bell dinged and the air was still warm from the summer sun. Cyrus walked around the corner from the restaurant where his beat up little car was waiting for him to drive the 5 minutes back to his house. He could do it! Or at least that’s what he kept chanting to himself as he buckled up and turned on the engine. Why was he so scared of driving? It wasn’t like he was a risky driver like some of the kids in Shadyside. He just couldn’t help the heart racing rush of anxiety he got when he was behind the wheel.

 

He really didn’t want to have to drive Buffy to school everyday. Andi was a much better driver than he was, she should just drive them in her mother’s car everyday, it’s not like Bex didn’t walk to work anyways. She could handle the pressure of controlling a machine that could kill someone in the blink of an eye.

 

Maybe it was because Cyrus was so hyper focused on his impending dread that he didn’t notice himself drifting into a fourway stop, or that he was running a stop sign, until another car made a deep dent in the side of his passenger door.

 

For a moment all Cyrus could register was his own screaming and his heart trying to escape his chest. With his eyes still squeezed tight, Cyrus moved to put his car in park before shaking his leg. Alright well those were still working at least.

 

The pavement beneath his feet felt like jello as he took a shaky step out of his car, only to be faced with an annoyed woman. She was older looking, older than his mom but not quite as old as Cece, and she was wearing the typical soccer mom outfit.

 

“Didn’t you see the stop sign?” She questioned, and oh boy did she look pissed.

 

Cyrus shook his head fastly, he was sure it was just gonna fly off at any minute, “N-No mam! I’m so sorry.”

 

The woman must have seen the scared look on his face because she just sighed and her countenance morphed into only a slightly perturbed look, “You kids and your phones. Well my car doesn’t look like it was damaged, do you want to report it?”

 

He shook his head again. He could not live with himself if he already had to report an accident as a beginner.

 

“Okay, well do you want me to stick around for you to call help?” She raised an eyebrow. She sure was nice.

 

But Cyrus didn’t feel like he needed two people looking disappointed at him at the same time so he just said, “No. It’s okay, thank you so much mam.”

 

The woman just drove off after that. And while her car might have been fine, his had a giant dent in it.

 

How could he do this? His parents always said to drive with a clear mind and focus on the road, two things he obviously did not do. They were going to kill him! All four of them!

 

He sat down on the hard curb and just stared at the car. He knew he wasn’t ready for this kind of responsibility. He still needed his mom to drive him to far away places and relied too much on everything in town being walking or biking distance. God, why was he so useless!

 

His eyes were wet and he knew his voice was the complete opposite of calm when he pulled out his phone and went to his contacts list. It rang three agonizing times before it was picked up, “Jonah! C-Can you help me?”

 

He was crying on the phone. To his old, secret, forbidden crush. The crush whose letter rested in his dinosaur box with the rest of his dead crushes. Could this situation get anymore embarrassing?

 

Jonah, by some miracle (or curse) since he was usually such an oblivious boy, picked up on it, “Cyrus? What’s wrong?”

 

“I was in a car accident. Can you come help me?” Cyrus’ voice was still wet.

 

“Woah! Dude, are you okay?”

 

“Yeah I’m not hurt or anything, can you just come get me? Without Andi and Buffy?” He didn’t need his friends fretting over him. He just wanted to get home as soon as he could.

 

Jonah sounded more relieved as he continued, “Of course, Uh...Where are you?”

 

Cyrus looked around at the houses, “463 Wesmyer road. At the intersection.”

 

“I’ll be there as soon as I can, just,” He paused for a moment and Cyrus could hear him mumble something to, presumably, Andi and Buffy. “Stay there.”

 

The line went dead and Cyrus almost wished he asked Jonah to stay on the phone with him. But then he started to cry again so he was happy he didn’t. The silence was almost haunting and he wasn’t too keen on being left alone with his thoughts to mull the whole situation over.

 

“Underdog? Are you okay?” That wasn’t a name he had heard in a long time. His head popped up at the voice. TJ Kippen squinted at him with a questioning look. He was driving one of those jeeps without doors, because of course he would driving the death trap 2.0 with one hundred percent confidence.

 

Cyrus just nodded and looked back down, hoping TJ would take that as a sign to just leave. And he was almost certain that TJ did just that until he hears the jeep pulling over to the side.

 

“Wow. You really did a number on your car,” TJ whistled, “Did you get the other person’s insurance?”

 

“No,” Cyrus dared to look up. He was sure that his eyes were unattractive puffy and his nose needed a fluffy tissue, but if TJ noticed, he didn’t say anything.

 

TJ plopped down beside him, “Why not?”

 

“It was my fault,” Cyrus shrugged, unsure of what else he could say.

 

“Did you call triple A?”

 

Cyrus shook his head and added, “But someone is coming to help me.”

 

He could see TJ nod to himself. They used to be friends. Close friends. TJ used to be apart of his little seventh grade group. The boys were TJ, Walker, Jonah, Kip, and himself. The girls were Andi, Buffy, and sometimes Amber if she was around and felt like ‘hanging with the younger crowd’ as she put it. It’s funny how it all worked out. But it’s not until you’re older that you realize how much of it was by fate. The universe. TJ and Buffy couldn’t even stand to be in the same room at first. It took them months to make up. Kip had once just been a random guy that they had seen around school a few times, and then suddenly he was around all the time. Walker had moved into their school district not even after three months of meeting him at a middle school mixer. And Amber was once an enemy as well, those Kippen siblings had a thing for trouble it seemed, but she made her peace.

 

By the time highschool came, they split into different crowds. Kip had outgrown their little group and started to hang out with what he considered the in crowd, leaving Cyrus to start highschool without someone he considered to be a good friend. Not that Buffy and Andi let him be deprived of amazing friendship though.

 

They’re not friends anymore either, Cyrus and TJ. So it was weird to be near him again after so much time has passed. But it was a familiar weird.

 

TJ’s phone buzzes and shook his head, annoyed, before pulling the device out of his back pocket. He reads it and reluctantly said, “I gotta go.”

 

“Where?” Cyrus couldn’t help but ask. Curiosity did kill the cat and all that jazz.

 

TJ sighed and shoved his phone back where it was, “To Kip’s.”

 

“Oh, you better get going then. He’ll be mad if you’re late.” It was weird for Cyrus to tease like that, but TJ just brought out that side of him. The playful and confident side. It was one of the reasons Cyrus loved being around him back in middle school. He often wished that their friendship lasted longer just because of it.

 

TJ rolled his eyes, “It’s not like he owns me or anything.”

 

“Hey! If you got married then his name would be Kip Kippen!” Cyrus remarked like it was the first time he had ever thought of it. He, Buffy, and Andi had laughed about it a bunch when they heard about the two’s relationship from the high school news grapevine, “Although, he might let  you have his last name. He’s generous like that, isn’t he?”

 

“Goodbye Goodman,” TJ just let an amused smile slip onto his face before turning to his car. He paused though, like he forgot something, and turned back around, “Are you okay now?”

 

“Yeah,” Cyrus could feel himself smiling too, “Thanks for stopping, it was really nice of you.”

 

“Of course,” TJ nodded firmly and turned back towards his car again, this time for good.

 

TJ was a character out of an old movie, timeless. He could be a debonair spy that had all the bad guys falling for his trap. He could be sipping milkshakes with another person at a diner bar and cruising down the street all slow like in an open air car. He was picturesque. There was just something that a lot of people liked about him.

 

He was Cyrus’ first kiss with a boy. The one he considered to be his first real kiss. It seemed like a distant memory. Or maybe something more akin to a fever dream. But it was only four years ago.

 

Jonah arrives a few minutes later, standing in front of Cyrus, as Cyrus is replying to Buffy and Andi’s worried texts. He looked at the house behind him, “This is 436. You told me it was 463.”

 

“No! I said 436.” Cyrus said with the leftover confidence he had from his encounter with TJ.

 

“Dude, you definitely said 463,” Jonah shook his head. He nodded towards his car, “Let’s just get going.”

 

Cyrus mulls over how he’s going to tell his parents after they call triple A. They weren’t going to be too crazy about it. He was supposed to be responsible. He was the son of four shrinks.

 

But it turned out that they weren’t too mad about it. The car had to be brought into the auto shop of course, but other then that hassle his parents didn’t seem too upset. They were more relieved that he wasn’t seriously injured.

 

Buffy was not happy about it though as Cyrus rung her doorbell at 6:30 AM. She gave him a tired glance and pushed right past him. He had to jog a little just to catch up.

 

“Hey! Don’t be too mad at me!” He wailed as he trailed after Buffy, her pace not changing.

 

Buffy stopped short and he almost bumped his nose against her backpack, “I don’t get why you insisted that we don’t ask Jonah for a ride. Now I have to get up earlier than before.”

 

“I’m sorry!” Cyrus groaned, “It’s just embarrassing! You’re my best friend, can’t you just understand?”

 

“Whatever,” She rolled her eyes and started walking again, but this time at a more normal pace, “I’m still annoyed at you but I’m too excited to tell you what I found out last night! Guess who broke up.”

 

“Who?”

 

Buffy leaned in like she was telling him a CIA secret, “TJ and Kip! Kip dumped his sorry ass.”

 

“Woah,” Cyrus’ eyes widened, “Why?”

 

Buffy shrugged, “Details are still fuzzy. But the most popular theory is that Kip met some college guy. Guarantee you he’s been cheating on TJ all summer.”

 

“That’s terrible.” Cyrus looked horrified. How could one human do that to another one?

 

They chatted about it all the way up until first period, which was gym. Cyrus stood next to Buffy as she did her warm up stretches. And by warm up stretches, he meant full on splits.

 

Cyrus thought he was imagining it when he saw TJ staring at him. But all three times that he looked up TJ was looking his way. TJ had been playing basketball with a few of his friends when he passed the ball over to someone and started jogging towards them.

 

“Hey, can I talk to you?”

 

Buffy and Cyrus share a look as she stands up. “Him or me?” Buffy raises an eyebrow.

 

“Cyrus.”

 

Buffy wraps her arm around Cyrus’ shoulder in a protective manner, “Whatever you have to say, you can say it to both of us.”

 

“I really need to talk to him in private?” TJ just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

 

Buffy gives Cyrus one last glance before huffing, “Fine. I’ll start jogging. But remember Kippen, I run fast so if you try anything!”

 

“Buffy!” Cyrus screeches out, motioning frantically for her to just go.

 

She looks at TJ threateningly before turning around and running off.

 

TJ leans down to whisper, “Just so you know, I don’t have an STD.”

 

What the fuck? Why the fuck? Cyrus was a little taken aback to say the least, “I never said you did.”

 

“I also don’t always eat the last baby tater!” His whisper had a bit more bite to it.

 

“TJ, slow down,” He tried to put up placating hands, “What are you talking about?”

 

“You said that. In your letter! How I’m just a overly confident guy who goes around giving out STDs! Remember?”

 

“I never wrote you a letter!”

 

Wait. Yes. Yes Cyrus did write him a letter. But it couldn’t possibly be the same letter. That letter was safely hidden away!

 

“Yes you did! I got it in the mail, to me from you!”

 

He was dreaming. That was the only logical explanation that he could come up with. There was no way that TJ had seen the letter.

 

“Cyrus?”

 

Or maybe he wasn’t. TJ was holding the letter. That letter that was supposed to never be seen by anyone else but him. But there it was! His handwriting and everything!

 

“How- How did you get that?”

 

“Mailman dropped it off yesterday,” TJ sighs and starts in a lighter tone, “Listen, it’s fine just don’t go gossiping that I-”

 

“The mailman? Like the one that comes to your house?” Cyrus squeaked out, interrupting TJ.

 

“Yeah?”

 

Cyrus feels his breathing begin to quicken. He feels as if he's about to faint, his head dizzy and light. If only he were lucky enough to just faint and escape this situation.

 

He could feel himself break out into a sweat, letting out a rushed, “I wrote that a really long time ago!”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Like really really long ago. And I don’t even remember what I wrote! It’s from like, middle school! I don't know how it got out, can I see it please?” He tried to act casual and calm as he held out his palm. But everything about Cyrus in that exact moment screamed the opposite.

 

Instead of doing what he’s asked, TJ smiles widely for the first time in their whole conversation, “Nah. I wanna keep it, i’ve never gotten anything like this before.”

 

Cyrus takes a leap of faith and jumps for the paper. Unfortunately TJ was, and probably always will be, the more agile one out of the two and he swiped his hand away, “Why do you want it?”

 

“Please!”

 

“Fine,” TJ handed it over, chuckling softly, “It’s all yours.”

 

“Thank you,” Cyrus said promptly, the paper starting to crumple in his hands from how nervous he was.

 

Cyrus started to turn away when TJ grabbed his arm. This time he looked a little more sheepish as he scratched the back of his neck, “Wait. Listen, I didn't mean to steal your first kiss. I mean, I didn’t realize that-”

 

“It’s totally fine!” Cyrus rushed out. Was this conversation over yet? “Forget about it! Have a nice day TJ! Buffy wait up!”

 

And then Cyrus bolted towards Buffy, who conveniently just lapped them, leaving TJ to stand there awkwardly.

 

It wasn’t until he was safely drifting off in history class, it was only the syllabus so it was fine, that Cyrus pulled the letter out.

 

_Dear TJ K,_

 

_First of all, I know you think you’re so cool when people call you by your last name. But you’re not. It makes you seem weird and it’s confusing most of the time._

 

_Did you know that when you kissed me that I would fall for you? Love you? Sometimes I think you did it on purpose. You definitely did it on purpose. You know how I know? You think EVERYONE loves you, TJ. I hate that about you. I hate it because it’s true. Everyone does eventually love you. Including me. Well, not anymore._

 

_You do things like push people around and put on this defensive shell because you don’t care. But you do care. You care a lot about what others think of you._

 

_You always take the last baby tater without asking. Rude much?_

 

_And you’re perfect at everything! Too good. You could give others a chance to be good, but you never do._

 

_You kissed me for no apparent reason. Even though I had my suspicions that you liked Kip. You had your suspicions that you liked Kip. Kip had the suspicion that you liked Kip. But you still kissed me. So I ask you this: Why? Why would you do that to me? My first real kiss was supposed to be fireworks and rain. Something perfect! But thanks to you it was none of that._

 

_The worst part of it is, that stupid nothing of a kiss made me realize that I liked you. I never really thought of you that much before. And maybe that’s why you did it. Because you wanted me to be like everyone else and see you in that way. And your trick worked. From then on, every time I saw you my heart wouldn’t stop going Baboom baboom baboom at lighting speed._

 

_You’re so good looking it’s unfair. Truly unfair. I think it’s your eyes. Or maybe that rare soft smile._

 

_Even though I don’t think you deserve it, I’ll list the things I like about you:_

 

_You started to talk to me, even though I was some dorky kid and you were the captain of the basketball team. Why did you do that?_

 

_You helped me get a muffin. More than that, you had faith in me that my friends never did. You gave me confidence._

 

_You’re unfairly tall. It’s no wonder you’re amazing at basketball._

 

_You apologized to my best friend and let me help you. You let me in, and I could tell you don’t do that a lot. It made me feel special._

  
  


_After that kiss I went on loving you for the rest of seventh grade and most of eighth. It hasn’t been easy, I nearly broke when I heard that you and Kip were official. It was even harder to see it with my own eyes. You probably make him feel special, right? Cause that’s what you’re good at._

 

_You probably don't know what it’s like to like someone so much but know that they would never feel the same. People like you don't have to worry about stuff like that. At least it was easier since we stopped being friends. At least I don’t have to see it all the time._

 

_And now that the year is almost over, I know for sure that I’m also over you. You can’t phase me anymore TJ. I can’t be effected. And I am proud to say that I’m the only person at school who as probably made it out alive after falling for your charms. Now I won’t have to worry about falling for you ever again! That’s a relief!_

 

_Even if I did kiss you again I bet I’d probably catch something. Although this time, it’d probably be an STD!_

 

_Cyrus Goodman_

 

Why did he have to mention the whole kissing thing? It really wasn’t all that special.

 

But Cyrus still remembered that day clear as ever. They were at Andi’s house, with no parents.  Bex had to go do something and trusted them to be alone. He had worn his best outfit that day, new shoes included, even though he’d just end up taking them off as soon as he got there. Nothing even really happened! No impromptu game of spin the bottle or seven minutes in heaven like he was dreading but secretly hoping for. All that happened was that they watched a movie then played monopoly until Buffy flipped the board.

 

It was slightly disappointed for Cyrus, who lived for romantic stories.

 

He and TJ were the last to be picked up and they sat on the porch as they waited. Cyrus kept tapping his foot as he awaited a text from his mom and TJ just played on his phone with a bored expression.

 

And then, out of nowhere, TJ said, “You know, your eyes remind me of chocolate.”

 

“Thanks!” Cyrus took it as a compliment, “I’ve always thought they were more of a mud bro-”

 

Then TJ leaned right in and kissed him, leaving Cyrus stunned.

 

He hadn’t thought of that moment in a while though. But if TJ got his letter then did Walker? Gus? Marty?

 

Jonah.

  
Oh no! Jonah!

 

Cyrus ran home from school as fast as he could once the bell rang. Clothes and knickknacks went flying everywhere as he tore his room apart. Where was that box? He couldn’t find it anywhere. When he asked his mom she smiled apologetically and said “It probably got sent out with the donation stuff. I didn’t even know you still used that thing.”

 

His phone buzzed. It was a text from Jonah.

 

_Hey did you need a ride? Buffy’s with me right now._

 

Cyrus just ignored it and collapsed onto his bed. He couldn’t even imagine Jonah reading that letter. He couldn't imagine Andy's reaction to it! Closing his eyes and hoping for the best for the next day.

 

Like Andi’s dad always said, the universe decides everything. So it was the universes fault that Cyrus couldn’t open his locker and dash to his first class like he planned. It was the universes fault that Jonah had woken up late. And it was the universes fault that TJ had to go in to meet his math teacher whose office was right by Cyrus’ locker.

 

“Cyrus,” Jonah scared Cyrus as soon as he closed his locker, “Can I talk to you?”

 

Shell-shocked, Cyrus just nods.

 

“What is this?” Jonah holds out the letter, “I don’t understand.”

 

“I have no clue...” Cyrus laughs nervously. He felt like his spirit had ascended to the heavens and he’s just watching his body in some terrifying movie.

 

“I mean, you are the one who wrote it right?”

 

“Oh wow!” Cyrus feigned surprise and took the letter back, fighting the urge to crumple it up and never look back, “Where did you even find this old thing?”

 

“I got it in the mail,” Jonah’s face was eerily serious. His expression was usually sunshine and lollipops, “How long ago was this written?”

 

“Long long time ago!” Cyrus let out an uneasy laugh, “Don't even remember when that's how long ago!”

 

“Right...” Jonah still looked confused, “But you mentioned ultimate camp, and that was only a few years ago.”

 

“Time is just a concept!” Cyrus tried to play it off casually. Fuck the universe! Why did this have to happen to him.

 

“So then... do you... or did you have feeling for me?”

 

“I mean, yeah I guess you could put it that way,” Cyrus rushed out, wanting to just drop the subject ASAP, “But that was before you were with Andi. So like, basically back in the jurassic period!”

 

Then Jonah asked the one question Cyrus was hoping he wouldn’t, “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

 

He’s looking at Cyrus like a confused first grader. A sad, confused first grader. and Cyrus panicked, so naturally he said the first things that came to his mind, “I’m dating someone!”

 

“You are?” Jonah’s eyes widened, which only made Cyrus panic more.

 

“Yep! Someone I really like so please just forget about this?” He pleaded, “And don’t mention it to Andi! I was super confused when I wrote it. I don’t need it causing problems in our relationship.”

 

Jonah hesitantly nodded, but that wasn’t good enough. Cyrus needed to make sure that nothing came in between him and his two best friends, “Do you swear? Swear on ultimate frisbee that you won't say a word!”

 

“Okay I swear dude,” Jonah still looked out of it though, “Who’s the guy?”

 

“Guy?”

 

“The person you’re dating?”

 

And that’s when Cyrus spots TJ coming out of his math class, “TJ Kippen,” The bell rings and Cyrus pushes past Jonah, “Gotta go!”

 

“Wait!”

 

Cyrus runs to TJ like he's never run before. TJ looks confused as he sees him sprinting towards him. At the last possibly second, Cyrus leaps at him, wrapping his legs around TJ’s waist and his arms around TJ’s neck. Cyrus had never been that close to another person in his life. TJ is understandably shocked, raising an amused eyebrow,  “Cyrus? What are-”

 

Cyrus cuts him off with a kiss.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hope you like the update! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL COMMENTS!!! :))) they really make me happy to read!!

If Cyrus thought his heart was going to beat out of his chest before at his locker, it was nothing compared to this. He was kissing TJ Kippen. Kissing! He hadn’t kissed anyone since... well... TJ Kippen (seventh grade edition).

 

Cyrus’ first thought was that strange wave of nostalgia, as if he did this a multitude of times in the past and not just that once.  

 

His next thought was more of a hope. A hope that Jonah was watching so that this literal leap of faith wasn’t for nothing. Jonah had to believe that they were really together, for the sake of the Good Hair Crew!   
  


His head started spinning and Cyrus realized that he was to caught up on his thoughts to worry about the fact that he was probably the most inexperienced person that TJ had ever kissed in his life. And then there was also the fact that TJ Kippen, the boy that so many people in this goddamn high school pinned after, was kissing him back. 

 

When Cyrus opens his eyes, still latching on to TJ like a koala would to a branch, TJ was staring at him with that same starstruck expression that he had back in seventh grade. But unlike in seventh grade, it was Cyrus who shook out of it first, sincerely whispering, “Thank you.” 

 

TJ barely got out a very dazed, “You’re welcome.” before Cyrus hopped down and sprinted as fast as he could to his first class.

 

It took all morning, nearly three hours, to get his heart rate back to normal. But give him a break! He just kissed one of the most popular guys in his school. In the middle of the hallway. In front of everyone. Oh fuck.

 

The weight of what he had just done hit Cyrus as he slammed his head against his lunch table with a heavy thud. He obviously did not think it through. That’s what the voice inside his head that sounded a hell ton like Buffy kept repeating.

  
Why did he use a real person? Why didn’t he just make someone up? It was as easy as saying a random name that they went to a different high school. Cyrus wasn’t great at lying but he could have at least managed that. And why did he have to use TJ? That was the absolute worst person he could’ve picked. Everyone knew who TJ was. More importantly, everyone knew that TJ and Kip were basically destine to stay together. It didn’t matter if they had broken up, it was only a matter of time before they were together again. Everyone knew that. They had broken up so many time only to go back to each other.

 

By some miracle, the news hadn’t gotten to Buffy or Andi by lunch time and Jonah had to run an ultimate meeting so he was absent. This was going to be his last peaceful meal before he had to deal with the consequences. They chatted normally and Cyrus tried to cherish every small moment before all hell broke loose.

 

Cyrus knew that he had to make amends before the situation could get anymore out of hand, so he sprinted out of his English elective, shakespeare in case you were wondering, to wait outside of TJ’s history class. He only knew what class TJ had last that day because they had the same teacher and he had gone after school one day to talk to her and TJ was still packing up. He wasn’t a stalker or anything thank you very much!

 

He started to prepare a whole speech in his head about how it was just a hilarious joke that they could just ignore for the rest of their lives when kids start to file out of the room. TJ was one of the last people out. He had his books tucked under one arm and he nearly dropped them when Cyrus yanked him to the side.

 

“Hey,” He greeted casually. The audacity of him to just act normal! Act as if Cyrus hadn’t been freaking the fuck out all morning! 

 

Cyrus must have been just standing there for a tad too long because TJ gives a weird look and turns to leave, but Cyrus blurts out like word vomit, “So about this morning...”

 

TJ smiles, “Oh yeah. What was that about Underdog?”

 

“It was a super stupid joke,” Cyrus begins. Man, explaining this entire mess was a lot harder than he thought it would be.

 

TJ crosses his arms and shakes his head, “Does this have anything to do with that letter you gave me?”

 

“No!” Cyrus blurted, well that was a lie, “Yes? Kind of... I mean, tangentially yes.”

 

“Look,” TJ starts, his eyes soft and his shoulders slumped in a sheepish manner, “I think you’re adorable! In a kind of dorky way. But Kip and I literally just broke up and I’m not sure if a new relationship is really what I need right now.”

 

TJ Kippen was trying to let him down easy? Cyrus didn’t even like him like that and he was trying to let him down easy! That wasn’t even what was happening! And “dorky”? He wasn’t “dorky”! The nerve!

 

TJ keeps talking through Cyrus’ mini crisis, his smile still apologetic, “I mean, I’m flattered that you would like me after all this time. I really am, don’t get me wrong. You know?”

 

“Okay,” Cyrus holds out his hand for him to stop rambling, “That’s quite enough embarrassment for today. I don't like you.”

 

It was TJ’s turn to look bewildered. He looked around quickly to see if there were any lingering people left in the hallway before leaning down and whispering, “Then why did you kiss me?”

 

“I kissed you  _ because _ I don't like you,” Cyrus knew it made no sense the moment it came out of his mouth, but he kept pushing forward, “I didn’t send those letters out. Someone else did it!”

 

“Letters?” TJ’s eyebrows screwed up, “As in plural? How many of us are there?”

 

“Five. And the guy I do kinda like but can’t like got one too and-”

 

TJ looks upset, “Who?”

 

“Well,” Wait. Damn it TJ! He almost got Cyrus to say it. TJ always had that effect on him, getting him to blurt out things so easily. He didn’t have to know, “That’s kinda personal.”

 

“I think that I have the right to know,” TJ smirked and uncrossed his arms, “You did drag me into this little mess of yours.” TJ threw his hands up in an overly dramatic fashion that would have anyone rolling their eyes, “How can I believe that there really are others and this isn’t a massive coverup?”

 

“It’s not a cover!” Cyrus let out a groan, “It’s Jonah Beck.”

 

“Doesn’t he go out with Andi now?” TJ quirked a brow. 

 

Cyrus was a bit taken aback. He didn’t even know TJ still kept any sort of tabs on them since they all stopped hanging out. He sighed, “Yeah. They’re together now.”

 

“I can’t say I’m surprised, But they’ve been a mess since  _ I _ was still apart of that group.”

 

“Yeah.. well... I can’t let him know about my feelings for obvious reasons... so I may have told him we were together.” Cyrus gave his biggest, most sheepish smile.

 

“So you used me?”

 

“It sounds so ugly when you say it like that, but I mean, basically.” Rip Cyrus’ most moral person of the year award.

 

“You’re funny, Underdog.” TJ let a genuine smile slip onto his features, “I almost forgot that about you.”

 

First he’s dorky, and now he’s funny? Welp. At least Cyrus knows what that means. No one wants to date the dorky and funny boy when they have tons of prettier and better people to pick from. “Well, thanks for not blowing my cover TJ.” Cyrus waves at him and spins on his heel, “Bye!”

 

TJ reaches out and snags him by the hood. The one day Cyrus decides to be comfortable! Damn you H&M for selling reasonably priced soft hoodies! “Wait. Jonah thinks we’re dating, so what are you going to tell him?”

 

“I haven’t thought that far ahead yet! But I’m sure I’ll figure out a great plan to unhealthy obsess over,” Cyrus gives a firm nod, “I’m dorky like that.”

 

TJ’s face lights up and he lets out a genuine laugh that sounds a bit out of practice, “I seriously miss you being this funny.”

 

Cyrus was tempted to do something dumb, like stick his tongue out at him, but he didn’t. Instead he gave one last smile and sprinted, for the second time that day, towards the exit. By this rate, this entire mess was going to have him prepared to run the mile in gym!

 

He wasn’t able to make it five steps out of the door before Buffy and Andi ambushed him. By the looks on their faces, they had heard the news.

 

Buffy’s eyes were wide, an unsure smile on her face, “Is it true?”

 

“Is what true?” Was there a chance that they would drop it? Cyrus sighed, with friends like his? Never.

 

Andi’s voice was a lot cheerier, “Did you really just jump onto TJ Kippen and kiss him like crazy?”

 

Cyrus’ stomach twisted a bit. Was that what people were saying? It wasn’t exactly inaccurate, but he wouldn’t say the kiss was  _ crazy _ per say. Cyrus smiled cause he didn’t know what else to do, “Yeah. I guess so.”

 

“Holy taters,” Buffy let out the breath she had been holding in, “I didn’t think it was true. When I told you that he and Kip broke up it wasn’t an invitation to go around kissing him! What were you thinking?”

 

“I honestly have no clue!” Cyrus threw up his arms, “It just happened.”

 

Andi clapped happily, “I never knew you had it in you to just go for it! I’m so proud!”

 

Cyrus let himself bask in the praise for a little bit until he caught the look on his other friends face. Buffy looked a lot more serious as she somberly said, “But you know Kip isn’t going to let this slide. He and TJ may be seperated, but he still has a tight leash on that boy.”

 

“I am well aware!” Cyrus squeaks out, “And I’m terrified.”

 

“We have your back Cyrus. He won’t touch you with us around,” Buffy wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulder, “But you gotta be careful, okay? He’s a classic snorpion.”

 

Cyrus would have laughed at the use of the word he hadn’t heard in years, but he was too busy trying to quell the building dread flowing though his system. He thought he had it all under control, but the knots in his stomach told him otherwise. 

 

The sick to your stomach feeling still wasn’t gone by the next morning. But at least it was a Saturday so Cyrus at least didn’t have to try to feign sickness. He stared at his wall with a blank expression. Why couldn’t he just fall back asleep? C’mon! Just sleep!

 

Nope. It was useless.

 

Cyrus cringes as his bare feet hit the cold wood. He gropes around his sheets for his phone and sends Buffy and Andi a quick text: 

 

_ Come over for breakfast if you want! :) _

 

Before going downstairs and rooting though his fridge. 

 

His mother is out the door as he’s grabbing the strawberries. She kisses his head, “Cyrus there’s a letter here for you. Return to sender. Did you try to mail something Honey?”

 

Cyrus hastily threw the strawberries onto the counter and scrambled for the mail, “Thanks mom! It’s nothing!”

 

“Who’s Gus?” She asked him, eyebrow raised. 

 

Cyrus waved her off, “It’s no one mom! I promise!”

 

She let it go, but Cyrus knew that she wasn’t forgetting it. But that was hardly his center of focus. Gus’ letter came back. The boy that sat in front of him in homeroom way back when.

 

_ Dear Gus, _

 

_ The school year is almost ending, and I know you’re moving away. That makes me feel kinda sad for some reason, because I really had fun talking to you. This is probably the last time I will ever see you again in my life because you’re moving to Maine, which is basically on another planet. _

 

Cyrus paused. Wow he was super dramatic back then wasn’t he? The Buffy sounding voice in his head counted with “You’re still overly dramatic Cyrus.”

 

_ I was really scared to start Middle School. Even with Andi and Buffy by my side, I didn’t know what to expect. But you made it easier! I will forever be grateful for that. I may have begged to be homeschooled if it weren’t for you! You always had the best handwriting for a boy and your connect the dots skills are so good! For some reason I really hated it when you kissed Farrah at the sixth grade mixer. _

 

_ Hope you like your new town Gus! Have a really good summer and a really good life. _

 

_ Love, Cyrus Goodman _

 

Cyrus smiled and clutched the paper to his chest.

  
This was the first letter he ever wrote. He was happy that he got to see it again. His writing has certainly changed over time. As well as his understanding of the world. And connect the dots? Wow he was easily impressed. 

 

Buffy and Andi don’t make it to his house that morning, and Cyrus was kinda happy because he had a bit of a break down after reading that letter again. But they did text him back asking to meet at the Spoon for lunch the next day which he was fine with. He just spent the rest of the day trying to figure out what he was going to do.

 

Cyrus threw on his warmer clothes since the fall weather was just starting to bite. A nice sweater under his puffy coat and a beanie fit snugly on his head.

 

By the time he got to the Spoon, Andi and Buffy were waiting for him. They had already ordered, knowing what Cyrus would want. Taters and a Chocolate milkshake, typical Cyrus order. He loved days when he could just talk about everything and nothing with his friends. The conversation was able to flow so freely, and he tried to avoid the topic of TJ.

 

Cyrus’ phone buzzed. It was a text from Jonah.

 

_ Hey. Are you guys at the Spoon? _

 

A normal text. As if nothing had even happened at the lockers the past morning. It buzzed again.

 

_ Taters? _

 

He ignored it. Why didn’t Jonah text Andi? She was right there across from him, obviously not really all that preoccupied. Though he did figure that she wasn’t great at answering her texts sometimes.

 

_ Can I come? _

 

“Who’s texting you?” Buffy looked over at Cyrus when she realized that he wasn’t paying attention to her story anymore.

 

Andi gushed, “Oh is it TJ?”

 

Cyrus just shook his head, lying, “It’s my mom.”

 

His phone buzzes again,

 

_ Nvm. I’m on my way anyways. _

 

Cyrus tries to re-engage in their conversation, but was a bit preoccupied trying to figure out what to say to Jonah. He had to have a story ready or else he was going to fumble and he wouldn't believe it.

 

Jonah arrived a few moments later, sliding into the booth next to Andi and throwing an arm over her, “What’s up guys?”

 

“Nothing much,” Buffy shrugs, “Just talking about our new classes.”

 

Jonah gives a tight lipped nod before facing Cyrus, opening his mouth, pretending to have come up with his question right then and there, “How are things going with you and Kippen?”

 

Well luckily for Jonah, Cyrus had his story all ready to go. And casually calling him Kippen? Really Jonah? They all used to be friends on a first name, and first name only, basis. Cyrus planned to say his whole monologue of how he and TJ got into a fight that morning over video chat and they broke up which was tragic because he had been in love with TJ, and ONLY TJ, since seventh grade but oh well.

 

“We actually broke up this morning,” Cyrus tried to put on his best sad face. Buffy immediately jumped up with her fist clenched, ready to go hunt the boy down, but Cyrus continued, “It was tough, ya know? Cause I’ve liked him since middle school and stuff but I guess Kip just has that tight of a hold on him. I don’t think he’s over him yet. There’s no love left for me.”

 

Jonah tilted his head in confusion, “That’s not what he said at the Rooster today though.”

 

What? Cyrus was starting to sweat. What did TJ say then? Why was he messing with Cyrus’ whole plan? Cyrus tried to casually lean on the table, “Oh really?” He cursed his voice for squeaking and forced it to go back down an octave, “What did he say?”

 

“Well I asked him when you guys started going out and he said recently,” Jonah paused, “And then he said that he really liked you.”

 

Cyrus must have looked shocked to all hell cause Jonah laughed awkwardly, “Yeah, I was kinda surprised too.”

 

“You were surprised he liked me?”

 

Jonah shrugged and smiled that sweetly happy go lucky smile, “Well, yeah! I mean your not as...”

 

That sweet oblivious boy. Cyrus could feel a little anger sprung from hurt well up inside him though, “I’m not what? As good as Kip?”

 

“No! Cy, what?” Jonah must have been shocked that Cyrus was having an outburst. He rarely did that, “I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant that you’re not as out there.”

 

“Yeah,” Andi tried to come to her boyfriends rescue, “You’re the kinda guy who stays inside the lines and tries to be nice to everyone. You’re not apart of that crowd. It’s not the kind of person we thought TJ would go for. We were all kinda shocked.”

 

Before they could say anything more Cyrus shot up and snatched his phone off the table, “Well that must be TJ calling me right now! So I guess he does like goody two shoes kinda guys!”

 

“Cyrus that's not what we said.” Andi tried to stop him from leaving.

 

“I gotta go,” Cyrus says ignoring them. He spun on his heel and pretended to pick up the phone, “Hey TJ!”

 

He knew that he was bring brash and everything. But forgive him if he was feeling a bit hurt by the fact that his friends thought that a popular boy would never like him. Popularity was just a social construct afterall, it had nothing to do with feelings. When Cyrus liked TJ back then it had nothing to do with his popularity, he liked TJ for who he was, no matter how rough around the edges. So why was it hard to believe the other way around? That TJ could possibly like him despite lack of common friends now adays. That he could like Cyrus simply because he was Cyrus.

 

Though, his friends were right. TJ didn’t actually like him like that so who’s to say he doesn’t care about something as meaningless as popularity and the social heiarchy of the highschool agenda. But TJ wouldn’t be so shallow. Right?

 

Monday came as a shock to Cyrus, who had spent all of the previous day lamenting over the fact that he’d have to find a way to properly apologize to his friends over his mini freak out. He knew they weren’t trying to insult him or anything.

 

TJ sat in front of Cyrus in chemistry. Ironic, isn't it? The only class they really share. If his life were a book Cyrus would probably point out that fact as some sort of foreshadowing. But his life wasn’t a book so he hadn’t paid much mind to it. Cyrus took out his post-its and wrote a note:

_ Why did you tell Jonah we were together? _

  
Cyrus kicks TJ’s chair with a little more force than necessary. TJ turns around, eyebrow raised and mouth open to ask a question, but Cyrus just handed him the paper. TJ turned back around quickly to read it and scribble something back. He pretended to yawn and smoothly dropped the note back onto Cyrus’ desk.

 

_ Talk later _

 

Cryptic. Cyrus let out a long sigh and the kid next to him glares. He should really be paying attention. 

 

When class ends TJ let all the people file out before he hopped up on his desk and faced Cyrus, “So, whats up?”

 

Cyrus clears his throat, trying his best to look calm, “Why did you tell Jonah we were dating?” 

 

“Relax Underdog,” TJ laughs, “I did you a favor, didn’t I? I didn’t blow your cover.”

 

He was right. Damn it, he was right. Cyrus gave him a skeptical look, “Why didn’t you?”

 

“Jeez, I knew Buffy and I were bad at this kinda stuff but you seriously have a funny way of saying thank you,” TJ shook his head, as if he were pretending to be exasperated, “You’re welcome, by the way.”

 

“Thank you,” Cyrus paused. Wait what? His common courtesy got the better of him. He shouldn’t be thanking TJ for making a mess of his plan, “I appreciate you letting me kiss you-”

 

“You're welcome,” TJ interrupted with a cheeky grin. Why did he have to do that? 

 

Just for that Cyrus decided to push back a little, add something he knew would get to TJ, “Yes, Very generous of you, but I already told Jonah that Kip has you so whipped that we couldn’t possibly be together. You can stop pretending now.”

 

TJ frowns, “I’m not whipped.”

 

“TJ,” Cyrus started shaking his head back and forth, “TJ, TJ, TJ... Aren’t you though? You’ve been together for so long now. He basically owns you.”

 

“You have no clue what you’re saying,” TJ scoffs. 

 

“Rumor has it that he made you get a tattoo of his name on your butt for his birthday,” Cyrus smiled, “So is it true?” He reached out as if he was going to lift up his shirt. Cyrus collapses into a fit of giggles when TJ leaps away with a yelp and swats at Cyrus’ hand.

 

“Stop that!”

 

“So it’s true!”

 

“No! I don’t have a tattoo!” TJ growls, fists clenched, “And were broken up so can you stop with all this stuff? I’m done with him.”

 

Cyrus wiped a stray tear that had escaped during his bout of laughter, “Didn’t Kip break up with you?”

 

TJ scowled at that, “It was a mutual thing.”

 

Cyrus sensed that TJ was not in the mood to joke anymore and waved his hand, “Well I’m sure you guys will be back to normal soon. You’ve done this before, right? You guys always get back together, but that’s probably because you were each other’s first real relationship, right? You guys haven’t really been with anyone else,” Despite TJ’s player status, he was always so loyal to Kip, “Psychologically speaking, it’s harder for couples like you to let eachother go. You just have that bond that you can never get rid of.”

 

“How-”

 

“Everyone knows,” Cyrus rolls his eyes, “I’m a literal nobody, TJ, and I know.”

 

TJ shakes his head, “Okay, enough talking about this!”

 

“My point is that even if you guys are broken up, no one else can date you,” Cyrus said as if it were common knowledge and not currently shattering TJ’s perspective of the world, “I mean, look at what happened to Aaron.”

 

When Kip and TJ broke up for a month the previous year, TJ went out with Aaron Smith. Aaron may have been even nicer looking than Kip, mainly because he was so nice. The sweetness just poured out of him, making him that much more attractive. He had a cute face dotted with freckles and eyes bluer than the ocean. Kip not only made sure that no one was his friend anymore, he also started a nasty rumor that his family was apart of the black market traders and Aaron was a organ harvester. Aaron’s parents had him transferred after a week. TJ and Kip were dating again in time for homecoming.

 

“Kip said he didn’t have anything to do with Aaron.” TJ gave him a look like he was ashamed for believing it.

 

Cyrus sighed, “Please TJ. We all know him well enough. Kip is a jealous person!” Cyrus starts to ramble, “Once he’s made his claim it’s time to back off. He can be pretty scary when-”

 

He stops when he sees TJ just staring at him. His green eyes just studied Cyrus for a bit before he nodded his head like he just came to a conclusion, “Let’s do this for a bit then.”

 

“Do what?”

 

“Fake date. Let people think we’re a couple.”

 

Huh? Was TJ crazy? Did he not just hear what happened to Aaron?

 

“Its driving Kip up the wall not knowing what’s going on with us,” TJ was serious, “It’s perfect. If I date you then Kip’s so called hold on me will break. He’ll understand that we’re done for good. Everyone will stop seeing me like I’m only his. You’d be breaking the seal,” TJ pauses and quirks an eyebrow, “Do you know what breaking the seal means?”

 

“Pfft,” Of course Cyrus didn’t, but he lied anyways, “I do. Who doesn’t.” He’d have to ask Buffy or Andi later.

 

TJ hopped off the table and backs Cyrus up to his desk. He laughs, “Then break my seal Goodman.”

 

Cyrus internally freaks out. And maybe a little externally too, “Sorry TJ, but I don’t like you.”

 

“Well duh, that's the point. I don’t like you, you dont like me. No feelings will get hurt anywhere.” TJ hold out his hand, “So deal?”

 

Cyrus throws his hands up, “Did you not just hear what happened to Aaron! I will die if Kip ever found out! I’m too young to die! I still have to go to an ivy league school and write my screenplay and-”

 

“C’mon! It would help with your whole Jonah thing too!” TJ tried to reason with him, “It’ll help sell the story. So he definitely doesn't think you like him. You could be in love with me! Well, pretend. Can’t have you falling in love with me, too.”

 

If he were any other person, Cyrus was sure that they would have said yes right away. But Cyrus was immune to his charmingly handsome face, “TJ, I don't want to be your fake boyfriend, and I especially don’t want to be your real one.”

 

TJ actually pouts, “Why not?”

 

“You read my letter! You're not my type. No one would believe that we’re really together.”

 

“You could be doing us both a favor,” TJ said nonchalantly, like he wasn’t begging before, “And I bet Jonah would believe it.”

 

Cyrus jumps up, eyes hardened, “Okay fine, let's do this.”

 

They shook on it, and Cyrus couldn’t help be feel as if he just made a deal with the devil. What was everyone going to think when they saw  _ him _ walking hand in hand with TJ Kippen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ask me stuff / send me prompts on tumblr @mushyyroom
> 
>  
> 
> Also! If you havent yet! I made a trailer parody of this! Please check it out!!! (www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VWPoq0ydAs&feature=youtu.be)


	3. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hope you like the update! All your nice comments warm my heart and keep me going! Thanks so muchhhh

Cyrus was surprised by TJ showing up outside of his last period class, how he knew what it was is still a mystery, and grabbed his hand gleefully. It did not take that long for Cyrus to find out what it would be like when everyone stared at him. It was even more staring and whispering than the morning that Cyrus jumped him, which he didn’t think was possible. 

 

TJ sighed, mouth pulled into an amused smile, “Relax. Stop acting as if I’m a bomb.”

 

“It’s hard when you just... did that!” Cyrus protested, hands a bit sweaty, “Who just does that?”

 

“Who just jumps on someone and kisses them?” TJ countered and Cyrus shut his mouth.

 

Cyrus hasn’t had much experience in the hand holding department. He used to boast about being the first one of his friends to hold someone else’s hand, but that didn’t mean he was actually an expert. It wasn’t helping that nearly the entire student body was watching him fail terribly at the simple act. It had officially spread to  _ everyone _ .

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Cyrus could see Denise Ackerman staring at them. Her mouth fell open and her eyebrows raised as if she couldn’t believe her own eyes. Denise was Kip’s best friend. His number one lacky. Cyrus was about to pull away at that look alone when TJ leaned closer to whisper in his ear, pointing at her with their interlocked fingers, “Take a picture, it’d last longer.”

 

Cyrus felt bad for laughing at that and quickly slapped his free hand over his mouth. TJ let out a laugh too and pulled his hand down, “Stop. It’s okay to laugh, you don’t have to be embarrassed, you have a cute laugh.”

 

Cyrus just nods and puts his hand down while TJ turns to talk to a someone in the hall, gesturing wildly with his freehand. Cyrus felt normal, which was abnormal. He was holding hands with a boy, his boyfriend. He had a boyfriend he was just casually holding hands with! Well, a fake one but still. Maybe Cyrus was a natural at this whole thing. 

 

But then Cyrus starts to freak out again as TJ’s friend turns to face him, “So you’re Cyrus right? TJ’s new boyfriend?”

 

“Y-yeah!” Cyrus squeaks out. Damn it Cyrus, Kip probably never lost his cool around TJ’s friends. He cleared his throat and tried again, “Yeah. He’s my boyfriend. The guy I’m dating. Don’t know where I’d be without him haha! Probably falling down a flight of stairs or something since I have two left feet! Or maybe-”

 

“You’re right, he is kinda funny,” The guy starts laughing and nods at TJ.

 

TJ gives one last smile before he tugs Cyrus in the direction of Cyrus’ locker. Once they were safely there, without anymore pit stops or  _ too _ prolonged stares, they let go of eachother. Cyrus nervously fiddled with his lock, tugging it open on the third try. When he turned around, TJ had been standing too close and their heads bumped loudly. TJ rubbed at the stinging spot, “Ow!”

 

“Why were you standing so close to me?” Cyrus scowled at the pain, eyes watering a bit. He could swear he was seeing stars. Fuckin’ A that hurt a lot.

 

TJ rolled his eyes, “I was trying to kiss you, duh.”

 

“What?” Cyrus looked at him incredulously. Why would he try doing that? Was that a thing they were going to have to try to do?

 

“We’re dating Cyrus,” TJ felt like he was talking to a six year old, “Kissing is kind of a thing couples do.”

 

Cyrus can’t do that. Not without exploding. He’d never get used to that kind of affection right off the bat, it was too much lying. Cause then he’d not only be lying to everyone around them, but he’d have to start lying to himself. He’d have to tell himself that it didn’t bother him that none of it meant anything, because even if it was all fake the intimacy was real. He wanted to have something like that, but for real.

 

“We’re going to have to talk about that,” Cyrus put a hand on TJ’s chest, pushing him away a tiny bit, “Come up with some rules.”

 

“Rules?” TJ snorted.

 

“Yeah,” Cyrus closes his locker and slips out from the way TJ had boxed him in, “Rules and boundaries and the story. You know?”

 

TJ laughed as he caught up to him, “Okay, fine. It might be good so you don’t back out on all of this.”

 

“I wouldn’t do that,” Cyrus waved him off as if the thought hadn’t crossed his mind about 50 times since he agreed to do it, “Who do you take me for?”

 

“I know you were thinking about it Cyrus,” TJ said like he was sure of it, “I can see you coming up with one hundred and one excuses not to do it already.”

 

How was he so sure? He was right, but how was he so sure of himself? The confidence on the guy was outstanding.

 

Cyrus was looking around for a place to talk but all around them there were other students who were whispering behind hands and shifting their eyes between them. They couldn’t talk there, there were too many people around. Too many people that could find out the truth.

 

He must have been straying pretty far away from the school unconsciously because TJ suddenly tugged on his arm, “Where are we going?”

 

“The park,” Cyrus’ mouth moved before his brain was able to process what he was saying, “No one from school will be there.”

 

TJ seemed to accept this explanation and followed him diligently. Cyrus was too busy trying to come up with what he wanted to say to be paying attention to where he was going. His pace slowed does and he was looking down at his feet in a daze, caught up in his thoughts. TJ ended up dragging them the rest of the way there, stopping at the old swing set, “The swings TJ?”

 

“Yeah,” He let his backpack drop to the ground, “We used to come here all the time together. It seemed appropriate.”

 

Cyrus was surprised he remembered something from almost four years ago now, but it didn’t stop him from sitting down and dragging his feet. He had pulled out his notebook and a pencil, “Okay. So first I think we should come up with how we got together. If we don’t have matching stories people will be able to tell we’re faking right away.”

 

“Seems reasonable,” TJ was pumping his legs a little, making sure not to go too high so they could still talk, “What did you have in mind?”

 

Cyrus seemed to smile at that, the romantic in him was giddy, “How about this. You found me after I crashed my car and comforted me. You decided to wait with me until the tow truck came and you decided to drive me home, you were all nervous. You wrung your hands because you’ve kinda been into me since middle school,” Cyrus clasped his hands together and lowered his voice a ridiculous amount, “Oh Cyrus! How I love thee. And since I was your first kiss you-”

 

“How do you know if you were my first kiss?” TJ interrupted.

 

Cyrus continued without paying any attention to his comment, “Since I was your first kiss you’ve always thought there was something special there. You had to take a chance so you did because you’re 95% confidence and 5% hair gel and we started dating ever since.”

 

“No one is going to believe that,” TJ shook his head, “Especially not Kip.”

 

“The best lies are the ones closest to the truth, TJ,” Cyrus said in a matter of fact tone, “We did kiss in middle school. It was a first for at least one of us. And you did stop when I got into that accident.”

 

“No it’s just that I went to see Kip that day,” TJ raised an eyebrow, “Remember?”

 

“Okay minor detail,” Cyrus waved it off, “I was in your head when you went to go see Kip and when he broke it off you took it as a sign. So then you rushed right over to my house with flowers and asked me out on my front porch.”

 

“You’ve got the all figured out, don’t you Underdog?” 

 

Cyrus nodded, “It’s the only thing I’m really okay at. But while we're at it, we need to talk about rules. For example, I don’t want you to kiss me anymore.”

 

TJ let his feet drag against the mulch until he was still, “Trust me, it’s not like I want to either. My head still kinda hurts from earlier, I don’t want to get any more concussions.”

 

“Very funny. But we should write this all down,” Cyrus started to scribble in his notebook. He neatly writes Contract on the top of the page before skipping down and placing ‘No Kissing’ next to the first bullet point.

 

TJ tried to look over, nearly falling out of the swing, “What’s the point of writing it?”

 

“For proof. Just in case we break a rule and one of use tries to claim that it wasn’t on there.”

 

TJ let out a breathy laugh, “Okay, but I doubt anyone is going to believe we’re a couple if I can’t touch you. Again, kissing is kind of a big couple thing.”

 

“There are plenty of other ways to show that you care about a person that doesn’t involve PDA,” Cyrus nervously bites the bottom of his lip. PDA would help sell their story faster though, and this thing wasn’t supposed to last too long. No! He couldn’t get distracted.

 

“Well no one's going to believe that I turned into a saint to date you,” TJ huffed, “You gotta let me do something. How about I put my hand in the back pocket of your jeans?”

 

Cyrus’ eyebrows scrunched up in concern, “I don’t wear jeans that often. Mostly khakis or corduroys.”

 

TJ laughed at that. The jean thing was so not the point, “Well do they have back pockets?”

 

“I think so,” Cyrus turned got up off of the swing and turned his head back as far as he could. He was wearing a pair of his favorite khakis right now. He thinks he saw a pocket, but it was hard to tell and with the notebook and pencil in his hand he didn’t want to fumble to reach and check, “Right?”

 

“Yeah,” TJ shook his head, “They do. So I can do that, strictly as a business thing.”

 

Cyrus nods and sits back down to write it in the notebook ‘TJ can put his hand in Cyrus’ back pocket’. “But no kissing.”

 

“Let me remind you that you started that whole thing.”

 

“I know, I just wish that I could do that for real, you know?” Cyrus sighs and halts his writing, “I’ve never done anything like that before, it’s probably why I banged out heads together. Sorry about that. I just thought that the first time I’d get to do all this stuff I’d actually be dating someone who liked me. And who I liked just as much back. This situation isn’t exactly ideal for all these firsts.”

 

TJ seemed to take a moment to process all of it, nodding slowly, “Okay. So we can save some things for you to do. For when this is all real.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Of course. I don’t want to steal all of your firsts,” TJ’s laugh was light and he gave Cyrus a sly look, “I already have your first kiss.”

 

Cyrus could tell that TJ was trying to lighten the mood. He was trying to be nice and considerate. Go figure.

 

“So that also means that I won’t pay for anything,” TJ shrugged and started swinging again, the creaks from the old chains made him have to talk a bit louder, “Someone who really likes you can do that.”

 

“I was going to pay for my own stuff anyways,” Cyrus frowned at that, “I wasn’t expecting anything from you.”

 

TJ didn’t pay any mind to it, “I won’t walk you to class, or buy you flowers.”

 

“I get it TJ,” Cyrus replied curtly, “Was there anything the you and Kip did that was special?”

 

TJ came to an abrupt halt, staring down at his hands, “Notes.”

 

“Notes?”

 

“Yeah,” TJ shook his head in an annoyed manner, “He made me write him all these notes. I don’t understand why, my handwriting isn't  the best and it’s not like we didn’t text each other.”

 

But Cyrus could understand why Kip would want notes. They were sweet because it did require some sort of effort to write them. And it was something he could just stare at and hold and keep close to his chest. Something he could re-read on a bad day just as a pick me up kind of thing. It was hard cold proof that TJ cared about him, loved him.

 

“I’ll write you one everyday,” TJ said suddenly, a confident and bright smile on his face, “It’ll drive him crazy.”

 

Cyrus just nods and writes it down, ‘TJ will write Cyrus a note (everyday?)’

 

“Also write down that you have to come to some parties with me,” TJ adds, pointing down at the notebook, “And no weird Sci-fi movies unless it’s something cool like Star Wars.”

 

“I’m offended by that nerd stereotype,” Cyrus glared up at him, “I don’t watch only Sci-fi movies.”

 

TJ clicks his tongue, “Oh yeah I forgot. You like to watch those lizard documentaries right? Well none of those either, unless you want me to fall asleep on you.”

 

Cyrus was honestly too shocked that TJ remembered that detail about him to really care. He’d probably make TJ watch one anyways, and then maybe he’d see how amazing they were.

 

Suddenly TJ is grabbing the pencil and notebook from his hands, writing down ‘Cyrus will make a picture of TJ his phone background. Cyrus snatched it back, “You too!” He pulled his phone out quickly to try and catch TJ off guard, “Say cheese!”

 

He still looks unfairly handsome in the picture. A nice and light smile on his lips and his eyes filled with amusement. The higher powers were really unfair sometimes. 

 

“Your turn,” TJ points his camera in Cyrus’ direction and snaps a quick photo. He sits there for a moment, looking it over and fiddling with his phone to set it as his wallpaper, “Cute.”

 

Cyrus tried not to blush, but he know he lost that battle when the heat hit his cheeks. Out of all the damn things that happened, this was the thing that made him blush the most? “Okay, last rule. We can tell absolutely no one about this. No one. If Buffy or Andi found out what I was doing, they’d be so mad at me.”

 

“First rule of fight club.”

 

Cyrus just nodded like he understood the reference. He’d have to google it later. He sighed, “What about an end date.”

 

“What?”

 

“Like a deadline. How long are we going to do this for? A week? Month?”

 

“Why don’t we just see where it goes?” TJ shrugs like it’s no big deal. 

 

Cyrus started to stumble over his words, “But- If we don’t have something set- I just feel like-”

 

TJ laughs and cuts him off, grabbing the chains attached to Cyrus’ swing, “Cyrus, you have to just relax. Not everything has to be planned down to a T. Go with the flow.”

 

“Advice from the great TJ Kippen.”

 

“I’ll be here all week,” TJ jokes back, “It’ll be fine.”

 

Cyrus nods a bit before stopping himself, “Okay but we have to be over by Christmas. Too many relatives come around and I hate lying to all of them.”

 

“We’ll definitely have no problem by then,” TJ said confidently. Like he always does.

 

They both sign on the lines that Cyrus drew, sealing the contract. There was no going back now.

 

“Well,” Cyrus hopped off the swing, “I should get going.”

 

TJ agreed and started walking back towards the school, confused when Cyrus started walking in the opposite direction, “Where are you going?”

 

“Home?” Cyrus perked up, confused. He just wanted to pull out his earbuds and walk home in peace.

 

TJ tilted his head, “You’re walking?”

 

“Yeah, my car remember?” Cyrus raised an inquisitive eyebrow, “I’ve been walking everywhere. It’s actually been quite a good work out. Buffy is not happy about the fact that we have to walk to school now though.”

 

TJ chuckled, “Well I could give you a ride home if you need.”

 

“No thanks,” Cyrus declined politely, “There is no way that I’m ever going to get into that death trap of a car you have. All of my friends and I agreed that we would never buy a car that doesn’t have at least seven safety features.”

 

“Suit yourself,” TJ shrugged and walked off. 

 

Cyrus plugged his earbuds in and started the rest of his walk home. He was almost out of the park until he hit the entrance by the small pond. Jonah. Jonah was there playing frisbee with some person he couldn’t remember the name of. It seemed like Jonah noticed him too because he started to wave Cyrus over.

 

“Hey Cy-guy! What are you up to?”

 

“Nothing much!” Cyrus smiled back, “Guess what? TJ and I aren’t broken up. It was a just big misunderstanding.”

 

Jonah’s face scrunched up in thought for a split second, concern in his eyes. But it disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared, replaced with the signature Jonah Beck smile, “That’s great news! I’m happy for you. If he ever does anything though, you can always count on me to rough him up.”

 

“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Cyrus nervously laughed, “But thanks for the thought.”

 

Jonah shrugged, “It was kind of an empty threat anyways, I’m not sure how long I’d last in a fight. I better get back to practice though, talk later?”

 

“Yeah!” Cyrus watched as Jonah waved and skipped back over to the guy he had been throwing with. Now that Jonah knew for a fact that Cyrus wasn’t in love with him and that he was with TJ now, maybe things would go back to normal. Like the stupid letter never happened. 

 

He was so happy that the plan was working that he couldn’t stop smiling all night. And he must have still been smiling the next morning too because Buffy nugged him on the walk to school, “What’s with the weird smile Cyrus?”

 

“Oh nothing,” Cyrus mumbled before clapping his hands together, “Just thinking about stuff.”

 

Buffy scrunched her nose up, her voice laced with thinly veiled disgust, “I don’t wanna know.”

 

Which was good, because he wasn’t telling. The weather was cold, as is it normally is in the middle of fall. Cyrus was wrapped up in a navy cable knit sweater and his dark gray peacoat. He had accidentally forgot his gloves but he had a nice, puffy white knit scarf and his trusty black beanie on to make up for the loss. It was weather like this that made him wish that he liked driving. He knew Buffy wasn’t too pleased to be waddling around in fall layers either, but she complained less once she saw exactly how distressed Cyrus seemed.

 

“Cyrus,” Buffy whispered suddenly, pulling him out of his thoughts, “Don’t make it obvious, but look. Is that car following us?”

 

He had to resist the urge to panic and whip his head around. He slowly looked, yes that van was slowly creeping on them. Should he run? Did they have time to run? Buffy probably could escape but what could he do? He little legs were basically useless!

 

He didn’t have time to figure it out because the car pulled up next to them and the window rolled down. Cyrus squeezed his eyes shut and blocked his face with his hands, squeaking out, “Please I have nothing valuable don’t kidnap me!”

 

“No promises Underdog, you’re looking pretty adorable in that scarf,” He cracked an eye open and saw TJ behind the wheel. Of a minivan. The definition of a soccer mom car. The two on the sidewalk must have been staring for a second too long because he rolled his eyes and pointed to the back door, “Are you guys getting in or?”

 

“What are you driving?” Buffy asked, laughing in shock as she climbed in to the back, motioning for Cyrus to take the front.

 

“A mini-van Buffy,” TJ gave her a pointed look in the mirror, smirking, “You’ve never heard of one?” 

 

“Of course I have,” Buffy buckled in, “I just wasn’t aware that you knew how to drive something other than that accident on wheels.”

 

Once Cyrus was in the car, the door slamming, TJ smiled, “Good morning.”

 

“Good morning to you too,” Cyrus said, unsure of what to say, “Thanks for driving us.”

 

TJ shrugged, putting the car back into drive, “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you walk all the way in the cold.”

 

“So this is really for real?” Buffy leaned forward, poking her head between the two seats, “For some reason this all still feels like a freakish dream. Or a nightmare, I’m trying to pick between the two.”

 

“I thought we were friends Buffy,” TJ offered an exaggerated pout, “What happened?”

 

Buffy huffed, “Watch it Kippen. I will snap your neck if Cyrus so much as frowns.”

 

“Won’t happen Driscoll,” TJ said, easily taking one of Cyrus’ hands off of the middle consol, lacing their fingers together slowly for show, “I am the perfect boyfriend.”

 

Buffy let out a loud snort, “Ha! Perfect my ass TJ!”

 

“You’re right,” TJ said, Buffy slightly flinching at the words, “Cyrus is the perfect boyfriend. Aren’t you muffin?”

 

Cyrus pulled their hands into his lap, tempted to swipe his hand away, “I’m not getting involved this time.”

 

“But thanks,” Buffy said reluctantly, “For the ride.”

 

“It’s no problem,” TJ lets a small smile slip out.

 

Cyrus could live like this. Maybe. He still felt bad about lying to his best friends, but this. This felt normal. It felt nostalgic. It felt right. They haven’t all hung out in so long, and he missed it. Even if Buffy and TJ argued a lot. It didn’t stop his stomach from dropping once he realize that it would all be gone within the next month. Would he and TJ still even be friends after all of this? Or would it all go back? Cyrus hoped that they would still talk. He didn’t realize how much he missed it until they started again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ask me stuff / send me prompts on tumblr @mushyyroom
> 
>  
> 
> Also! If you haven't yet! I made a trailer parody of this! Please check it out!!! (www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VWPoq0ydAs&feature=youtu.be)


	4. Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you all for commenting and liking this! It keeps me going! I've responded and explained this on tumblr but I probably should here too, but as of late I don't have a ton of time to work on this so thank you so much for being patient! I'm just starting college apps and everything so essays and things have taken priority and they've been kinda stressful. But this along with other projects are fun to work on in my free time! I will try to get everything out at least bi-weekly so please bear with me! Can't wait till season 3!!!

Cyrus nearly whimpered when Buffy said she had to go to the attendance office to get a tardy cleared up. He was hoping that she would stay around a little longer before he had to act all boyfriendy. He was nervous! Sue him. 

 

TJ had tugged them in the direction of the cafeteria. Which Cyrus knew he would, but was hoping he wouldn’t. The cafeteria was always full of people, full of drama. Cyrus didn’t go in there a lot during the morning, and Andi always prefered when they ate outside for lunch. And when he sat in there he shamelessly listened to all the gossip and watched all the drama unfold. It was fun! Don’t judge him, everyone wants to know what the 411 is. It was one of the perks of being able to blend in. Cyrus wasn’t used to being at the center of all of it.z

 

“I don’t know if this is such a good idea,” Cyrus was ready to sprint in the opposite direction when he heard the loud modge podge of noises coming out of the room.

 

TJ nudges him with his shoulder, “Cmon Underdog. We have to act convincing and make sure this spreads. The cafeteria is out best bet. Everyone is in there.”

 

Andi wasn’t. Buffy was’t. Cyrus felt himself start to fidget as they entered, all eyes seeming to hone in on them. 

 

Kip was staring. As predicted. As planned. His gaze was the most intimidating thing that Cyrus had ever seen. It made him want to curl up and hide.

 

“You okay?” TJ pulled him back into reality. Cyrus nearly jumped when he felt TJ’s hand sneak it’s way into his back pocket. He looked up but TJ’s eyes weren’t focused on him, instead they were trained on Kip. It was when Cyrus remembered what they were supposed to be doing. He had to hold up his end of the deal. Cyrus Goodman gave his all when it came to everything!

 

Cyrus cleared his throat and watched, amused, as TJ looked back at him, “I’m fine TJ. Why don’t we sit over there though. We can let him watch from afar.”

 

“You’re scared of him. Aren’t you?” TJ laughed, but he complied and steered them over to a table not near his other friends.

 

“What? Of course not,” It didn’t sound believable, even to Cyrus, “But FYI if you want people to stop thinking that Kip has you wrapped around his finger, you should stop looking so forlorn.”

 

“Whatever,” TJ took a seat and tugged Cyrus down to sit next to him. Next to him next to him. As in super close. Why did they need to be that close? TJ smiled and put his lips next to Cyrus’ ear, “Stop freaking out, they’re all watching.”

 

“Kip and your normal table?”

 

TJ let out a huffed laugh, “Everyone.”

 

And indeed everyone was watching. The entire lunch room seemed to be focused on them. Cyrus had never had this much attention on him in his life! And his baby life was full of relatives passing him around and cooing. What the fuck was he supposed to do? What if he screwed up?

 

But Cyrus realized that he didn’t hate it. Sure it wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world. But he didn’t hate all the attention. It was slightly addictive.

 

Never mind. Kip was staring hauntingly at him, as if he were going to eat him for breakfast. And Kip probably could have Cyrus’ reputation and dignity served hot or cold the next day if he wanted to. Cyrus never wished to be more invisible in his life. And to make it worse, the next time he looked up, Kip was just smiling. But not smiling for real, one of those empty smiles that held a promise to destroy you.

 

Cyrus grateful for the warning bell, signalling that they only had five more minutes to get to their first periods. TJ wasn’t paying attention though, he was still staring at the other table. Cyrus cleared his throat, “Shall we leave now? Class is about to start.”

 

“Hm?” TJ looks back at him, seeming to snap out of whatever he was thinking about. He stood  and pulled Cyrus up with him, “Yeah, let’s get going.”

 

It was weird having someone guide him along. Cyrus wasn’t used to it. But TJ’s hand on the small of his back lead him towards the double doors of the cafeteria. Everything felt like a lucid dream. Like he was underwater and looking up towards the sky.

 

Cyrus started to realize how little attention people used to pay him. He realized that he never got stares and everyone couldn’t care less about what was going on with him. But now he’s TJ’s boyfriend. Everyone wanted to know about him. He knows he would if TJ was dating anyone besides Kip. What made Cyrus so special? Who is this person? Why did TJ want to date him?

 

He used to be a nobody. And now he was somebody. It was a weird feeling.

 

They stopped at the cafeteria door. TJ leaned forward and bumped their foreheads together lightly, taking one of Cyrus’ hands in his own, “Here,” Cyrus could feel something slip into his palm, “I have basketball practice today so I can’t drive you home.”

 

“Thats okay,” Cyrus smiled and gripped the piece of paper, he could feel people’s stares start to linger, “I can just walk. Or I’ll probably go to the spoon with Buffy and Andi.”

 

TJ smiled and put his lips to Cyrus’ forehead, “I think we can say this mission is succeeding so far.”

 

Cyrus just nodded and stepped away, probably too far away. He laughed, “Yep! See you uh, tomorrow I guess!”

 

“Did you just finger gun me?” TJ’s lips were quirked in an amused expression.

 

Cyrus immediately slapped his arms to his sides, “No. Who’s that lame? Anyways I gotta go to class, bye!”

 

TJ purposely sent him just a finger gun in response.

 

Cyrus scurried off to his first period class, math, and kept the note in his pocket until after school. He only uncrumpled the paper when he was safely sitting on Andi’s couch doing homework.

 

_ Dear Underdog, _

_ You did a good job today! _

_ TJ _

 

It was a simple note, but Buffy and Andi still let out an ear splitting scream when they got their hands on it. Cyrus told them to keep it if they really wanted to. Andi looked appalled, “What? Don’t you want it?”

 

“No,” Cyrus just shrugged and continued to work on the questions he was assigned in history class. The note didn’t hold any sort of value to him really. He supposed maybe he should have said yes to really sell the story, but he didn’t.

 

Andi let out a long sigh, “Boys.”

 

“When’s the pizza getting here?” Buffy questioned from her seat on the couch, sprawled out and reading her assigned book. Julius Caesar. Fitting. Caesar was also lied to and betrayed by his best friend. Cyrus really didn’t want to be Brutus.

 

Andi looked at her phone, “Uh. A few minutes.”

 

“Good, cause I’m starving,” Buffy flipped the page loudly.

 

After a while the pizza showed up and Cyrus’ school work started to blend together. He was almost positive it wasn’t Roosevelt who came up with the binomial theorem. He really just needed some sleep.

 

He found himself in almost the same position Thursday evening. This time though he was hanging off the edge of Andi’s couch and the pizza in his mouth was colder than he would’ve liked. It had been almost three days since he started dating TJ, and the whispers still hadn’t died down. And most of the time he hated it. Some were jealousy filled comments, or just plain hurtful ones. And then some of the times he heard some that sounded like praise or approval.

 

“Can I ask you guys a question?” He said around his bite of pizza, “A serious one. And you can’t get mad.”

 

“Of course,” Buffy said, sitting up straight from her position sprawled out on the floor. 

 

Andi placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, “Anything Cyrus.”

 

He let out a sigh. Well, now or never. Fuck it, “Do you guys think I’m good enough to date TJ?”

 

He had been hearing it all week. Girls and guys alike came up to ask him what the deal was. He heard comments like ‘can you believe he’s dating that guy?’ and how he was such a ‘downgrade’ compared to Kip. It was hurtful, cause he had absolutely nothing to counter with. TJ  _ wasn’t _ dating him because he liked Cyrus.

 

“Are you kidding me Cyrus?” Buffy snorted, “He’s lucky to have you. Why? Did he say-”

 

“It’s nothing he said. Just some people at school and stuff.” He tried to play it off like it wasn’t a big deal.

 

Andi smiled, “Who cares what they think? You’re the one who got the guy! They’re just lonely and bitter.”

 

“And assholes.” Buffy added, “TJ picked you. Have faith.”

 

He did have faith. He had faith that this wasn’t going to end in a horrific breakup. This relationship definitely wasn’t going to end until they completed their goal. And since it had no feelings involved it’d be a pretty seamless breakup.

 

So why did thinking about it hurt a little.

 

“How did you guys get together anyways?” Bex waltzed in and asked, grabbing a cold slice of pizza from the floor. She sat criss cross applesauce next to Andi. It was obvious she was listening in from her hiding spot in the kitchen before, and her question had only proved his theory.

 

“Oh yeah!” Andi pointed at her mom then Cyrus, “We never heard that story!”

 

Cyrus almost forgot that he didn’t tell them. Or well, he definitely forgot. He hoped that they wouldn’t bring it up, he really did hate lying to them, “Well that night I crashed my car, he was driving by and sorta stopped to check on me. We just reconnected.”

 

“Aw,” Andi and Bex cooed in unison while Buffy just nodded in approval.

 

Cyrus thinks that Buffy may have said, read: threatened, TJ or something because he insisted that they go out somewhere the next day. A friday night. A night where people from their schools crawled out of the depths of hell and partied.

 

And like hell if Cyrus wanted to get swept up in all of that. The thought of it just made is heart pound.

 

But TJ surprised him. Instead of hitting any of the hot spots that were sure to be active with popular people and TJ’s friends, he took them to the spoon.

 

“Why are we here?” Cyrus asked as he slid into his usual spot, but thank fuck. He couldn’t be more relieved!

 

TJ just shrugged, “The food is good.”

 

“That’s not what I meant,” Cyrus rolled his eyes. He knew that TJ knew what he meant. The guy was just making it difficult for some reason. Why? It was so unnecessary! They already had enough secrecy in their lives to last a lifetime so why dodge this?

 

“I thought you’d be more comfortable here,” TJ’s eyes were trained on his menu, but Cyrus could see the tiny patches of red forming on his cheeks. He wanted to take a picture. Buffy would never believe him if he said TJ looked even the slightest bit embarrassed. But before he could pull out his phone, TJ slammed the menu down and looked him in the eyes, one eyebrow raised, “Why? Would you rather be at the game? Or I heard that Bryan Olivas is throwing a party.”

 

“No. I’m just surprised.” And extremely touched by the thought. Jesus, he needed to get a grip.

 

Cyrus’ usual waitress comes around and pencils in their order. She smiled at the two brightly, “Where is the rest of your gang?”

 

“Buffy is with her mom, Andi is spending the evening with her grandparents and Jonah is... Jonah’s just not here.”

 

TJ scoffed.

 

The waitress took TJ’s order and hopped back into the kitchen. Cyrus gave him an incredulous look when she’s out of sight, “Do you not like Jonah or something?”

 

“I think he’s fine.”

 

“It sure doesn’t sound like it.”

 

“He turned me in for cheating in spanish once ya know?” TJ huffed and sat back in his seat.

 

Cheated? Cyrus shook his head, “You cheated?”

 

“Not really! I just copied all the homework answers from a website one night cause I was tired. And then he turned me in for it when he saw my tab open.”

 

It didn’t really sound like a Jonah thing to do. Especially since Jonah was usually so oblivious to everything that wasn’t immediately on his mind. The kid could be observant when he wanted to be, but he had to be focused on a task to really get to that level. He would have to have been looking out for TJ’s cheating to notice. Cyrus voiced his thoughts.

 

TJ laughed, “Yeah, okay. Well I said I didn’t hate him. I guess turned me in might have been the wrong term. It’s more like he loudly asked me what the tab was and I got in trouble.”

 

“That sounds more accurate,” Cyrus nodded, but he still felt a bit uneasy.

 

“Stop with the look.”

 

“What look?” He tried to feign innocence.

 

“The judgy, I have several psychological diagnosis’ already lined up look. It was back in freshman year!”

 

“Can you read?”

 

TJ gawked, “Of course I can read! I wrote you so many notes already too!” He started to laugh, “I’m lazy, not five.”

 

“This isn’t funny,” Cyrus quips.

 

TJ’s laughter peters out and he thanks their waitress as she sets down the food. He immediately takes a huge gulp of his shake, “So who else?”

 

“Who else what?” Cyrus quirked his head to the right and sipped on his straw too.

 

“Who else got letters?”

 

Cyrus choked. He quickly slapped a hand over his mouth to make sure that none of the chocolate liquid gushed out. Well that came out of nowhere.

 

He coughed, “That is private information, thank you very much.”

 

“C’mon Underdog,” TJ dipped a tater into his milkshake, “I’m obviously first in your rankings but I wanna know who else was in the race.”

 

Fine. If he wanted to know then fine. Cocky son of a-

 

“Well there’s Jonah, and you-”

 

“Obviously,” TJ smirked.

 

“Gus.”

 

“Gus?” TJ snorted out the name like it was the funnest thing he had ever heard, “Who the hell is that?”

 

Cyrus leaned an elbow on the table and popped a tater into his mouth, “A guy from my sixth grade homeroom class. He was super nice and talked to me all the time. He was also the best at connect the dots.”

 

“Sounds... Awesome. What did he say about the letter?”

 

“It was returned back to the sender, so he doesn’t even know about it.”

 

“Okay, who else?”

 

Cyrus takes another hesitant sip, “Marty.”

 

“He still likes Buffy,” TJ said immediately.

 

“No he doesn't!”

 

“Quit dreaming Underdog, he was totally staring at her in our english class the other day.”

 

“I’m sure he was just glancing at her. He doesn’t still like her.” Cyrus was almost certain of it! Buffy would have mentioned something. She was always so observant.

 

“I’m just saying,” TJ held up his hands in mock defense, “So what did lover boy say about the letter?”

 

“Nothing, and I’m sure like a decent human being he didn’t bring it up because he didn’t want to embarrass me.”

 

TJ rolled his eyes, “Okay fine. Four down, one to go. Who is it?”

 

“Walker.”

 

“Brodsky?” TJ gaped, “The artist guy? When did you like him?”

 

Cyrus found his nails to be quite interesting in that moment. Did he need more calcium? “Eighth grade.”

 

“I thought you liked me then!” TJ looked offended.

 

“There may have been a slight overlap,” Cyrus pinched his fingers together for emphasis. He sighed when he saw that TJ’s shoulders were still tensed up, “Listen. We were cleaning up after gym class alone and it was raining-”

 

“What's with romance and the rain?” TJ interrupted.

 

“It’s dramatic? I don’t know. All I know is that it felt really romantic, you wouldn’t understand.” 

 

“Well what did he say?”

 

Cyrus slumped forward on the table, “He didn’t say anything yet. I doubt he’ll even read it until he gets back from that European art exploration thing.”

 

A select few artists from the studio Walker went to were elected to internship in France. It had been one of the best things that had ever happened to one of Cyrus’ friends. And while he was going to be dearly missed for their junior year, everyone knew what a big opportunity it was for him. He was following his dream! Cyrus barely even had a dream.

 

“Why do you sound so beaten up about it?”

 

“I’m not.” Cyrus protested. But he was a little sad about it. Walker had also been caught up in the mess that was Andi and Jonah, and he felt like Walker was the only person he could relate to for a long time. He was someone who was close to Cyrus. Someone who was actually kind and nice and maybe Cyrus felt a little more hope with him then he did with anyone else.

 

TJ looks like he doesn’t believe it, but he moves on with a shrug.

 

And then, it was as if just talking about the other letters sent something into action. The following monday Cyrus was once again scared shitless at his locker. Marty smiled, “Hey Cyrus.”

 

“Hi,” Cyrus knew his own smile must have looked crooked or uncomfortable.

 

Marty held out his letter, “I wasn’t going to bring it up, but I thought you’d at least like it back.”

 

And thank heavens for Marty. What an angel he was. Cyrus took the letter back and carefully tucked it into his folder. He still wanted to keep it, “You’re probably wondering what this is. I wrote it a-”

 

“No need.” Marty put up a hand, “I don’t need an explanation. The fact that you even wrote that for me was honor enough. It was really nice.”

 

And why was Marty so good? So nice? He knew exactly what to say. Cyrus let out a cry of relief and leaned back against his locker.

 

Marty cleared his throat. He started to fidget a bit, “But...”

 

“But what?” Cyrus stood back up straight. Couldn’t he just have left it at that?

 

The boy leaned in closer to whisper, “You know I still kinda have a thing for Buffy, right?”

 

Damn it TJ. Why was he always right about everything? He felt a little disappointment. Cyrus scoffed and waved a hand, “Of course I knew that.”

 

It was a lie.

 

“You’re so cute Cyrus,” Marty laughed, “Just don’t tell her okay? We just started talking again for real and I don’t want to scare her.”

 

“Lips are sealed.” Cyrus made a lock and key motion and gave a firm nod.

 

Marty punched him lightly on the shoulder with a, “Thanks.” And they both walked towards the language wing of the school. It was so nice to talk to someone who both knew him and didn’t know him. Cyrus wasn’t invisible to Marty, but he also wasn’t super close to the guy. It was nice being able to talk about topics that were less drama filled with someone. Cyrus was almost tempted to tell him about the whole fake dating scheme, just cause he could and he’d have little immediate repercussions. But he made a deal with TJ. And he was a man of his word.

 

“I hope you’re happy with TJ,” He said earnestly.

 

“Yeah it’s just-” Cyrus shakes his head, “If this were a movie, he’d be that popular guy that the protagonist dates,” Cyrus points at Marty, “But you’d be the guy that I’d be yelling and throwing popcorn at the protagonist to date.”

 

Marty just chuckles at that, but Cyrus could tell that he was flattered.

 

_ Dear Marty, _

 

_ I’ve never met a guy who was as polite and witty as you. You should be on one of those bantering shows, trading barbs with some cocky host. At the sophomore homecoming you looked really nice in that tie. I think you could wear more formal things and get away with it. _

 

_ I know you asked me because I didn’t have a date and you felt sorry for me. But it was still such a nice thing to do. You didn’t care what anyone thought of us, you just did it out of the kindness of your heart.  _

 

_ I only know trivial things about you, which is frustrating. I want to know more about you. You’re such an interesting person it’s terrible that I only know things like your favorite color. The only thing I know about you with any substance behind it is that you love running. I remember our whole conversation about how you never feel more alive than when you are on the track. That’s something we don’t have in common I guess, because I never feel closer to death than when I’m running. _

 

_ But that conversation is what had me falling for you. You spoke with such passion and the shining look in your eyes rivaled the stars. It made me feel like I knew you, even just for a second. But I don’t really know you, but I wish that I did. _

 

_ You’re a special person. And I wish more people could see that. Or maybe not, sometimes it’s nice to be the only one who knows something. _

 

_ Love, _

_ Cyrus Goodman _

 

What would Cyrus’ life be like if he were dating someone like Marty? He guesses that he’ll never know. Buffy might know, if all goes well in the future. And then she can tell him about it. Maybe by then he will be dating someone like Marty. For real though.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it so far!
> 
> Ask me stuff / send me prompts on tumblr @mushyyroom
> 
> Also! If you want! I made a trailer parody of this! Please check it out!!! (www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VWPoq0ydAs&feature=youtu.be)


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